WHAT RUINS YOUR JOB SEARCH NETWORKING (AND HOW TO FIX IT)

Last week, I went to a party. Not a networking event. Not a mixer. A proper social catch-up.

The host introduced me to someone as a career coach and said, "You HAVE to talk to her." And I did end up speaking with him – let's call him K – who's a senior-level professional facing retrenchment in the coming months. 

We had a short chat. He asked for my LinkedIn. We connected. And then... the follow-ups began. 

And that's what today's story is about: a real example of what not to do when networking and how to turn it around. 

The message that almost went wrong

K followed up the very next morning with a long message, asking to connect further. I was mid-workshop week, onboarding MBA students, and juggling way too much already, so I didn't reply immediately.

Then came the second message... And the third. And a forwarded email with his CV, cover letter, and a request to review them. And a message to my husband, asking him to chase me on his behalf. 

Look, I get it. Job search is stressful. The clock is ticking. You want results, now. But how you approach people, especially strangers, can either open a door or quietly shut it. 

So here's what not to do (and what to do instead):

1. Don't chase on multiple platforms in 24-48 hours, Give them space.

Wait a week before following up. People have lives, jobs, toddlers, deadlines. And if you do nudge, keep it light and respectful. A simple "Just checking in to see if this is something you might be open to chatting about" works. 

2.  Don't make it transactional, Build the relationship. 

K forwarded me an email where he'd already asked someone else for a referral. No checking in with this person, what he is doing, how his experience is. Purely, I saw a role in your organization. Can you refer me?

Real networking means asking how the other person is doing. What's their experience been like at Company X? Learn first. Then ask gracefully. 

3. Don't ask for a big favour upfront, Keep your asks small at first. 

"Can you review my CV and cover letter?" is a BIG ask for someone you met for 3 minutes.

Start with: 

• "Would you be open to a short call?"
• "Could I get your quick take on something?"

Once the conversation flows, a review may come naturally. But if you lead with a giant request, it often feels like homework.

The good news? 

K eventually sent a WhatsApp message that was polite, self-aware, and respectful of time. And that completely changed my impression. He salvaged the situation with grace. 

So no hate, just a reminder that in job search, how you show up matters as much as what you ask.

With you in growth,

Shub